


Ensign Fangirl

by sullacat



Category: Star Trek
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fangirls, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, fictional reference to chapel/mccoy, fictional reference to kirk/spock, fictional reference to nyota/carol, mckirk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1416595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullacat/pseuds/sullacat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"The writing's terrible, but she makes up for it with her… enthusiasm about the subject."</i><br/>"And her adjectives."<br/>"That too."</p><p> Someone is writing fanfic of the crew.  McKirk ensues.</p><p>[There are several listed pairings in this story, but they are works of fiction, nestled within this work of fiction.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ensign Fangirl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kinderjedi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinderjedi/gifts).



> Gift fic for one of my dearest friends in the world - kinderjedi! Love you, bb! ♥♥♥

These are the ramblings of Ensign Fangirl, going boldly where no fangirl has gone before!

* * *

Dear Ensign Fangirl, I just can't stop reading your stories, I wake up every morning and check to see if there's a new story. It makes my day! Any chance we can get some hot and steamy Sickbay sexings? 

~thank you, dear anon! i'm blushing! i'm just a simple fangirl like you, trying to make her way in the universe, and blessed to be assigned to this ship of hotties. i defy anyone to show me a ship of better looking crew members. anywho, ask and ye shall receive! i love getting prompts, so just include them in the comments and i'll do my best to fill them. 

* * *

**Physician Heal Thyself**

..."I feel fine," he said, sitting up too fast. "Just wanna go home now." The sheet covering his nude body fell, pooling at his waist. Christine tried not to let her bright blue eyes linger on the smooth muscles of his lean torso, always hidden by his white medical uniform or his blue tunic. But Leonard's body was lovely to look at, not overly ripped. He looked like a man should look, she decided, that delightful trail of dark hair under his naval heading south to even more promising features. 

All of a sudden Christine looked up and saw that Leonard was looking at her with bright, shining eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, realizing he'd been calling her name. She took a step closer toward him, trying not to tremble. "Did you need something?" she asked, her voice low and husky. "Anything?" 

Leonard swung his legs over the bed, standing in front of her naked as the day he was born. His impressive cock jutted out proudly in front of him as he gazed at her, his eyes dark and lusty. "Just you," he told her, one of his rare smiles tugging at his lips. "Computer, lock door, authorization McCoy." One large hand reached out for her smaller one, pulling her closer to him. The way he towered over her, standing straight and tall, barking out his orders - Leonard McCoy was her ideal man, and just watching him looking down at her protectively made her feel more like a woman. 

Christine stepped toward him, gasping as his hands pulled at her own uniform. She knew this was dangerous, the two of them together like this in Sickbay. It broke all the rules but she didn't care. Her eyes locked on his as he undressed her and soon she was as naked as he. His large hands caressed her amble breasts, her smooth side, her womanly hips - his thick fingers carefully tracing every inch of her aching body. When Leonard finally pulled her down onto the small bed, Christine groaned as she straddled his massive erection and rode him, slow and deep, the two of them lost in their own paradise. 

* * *

"What are y'all laughing at?" Leonard had wandered into the small break area in the back of Sickbay, reaching for a glass and filling it with water. Nyota and Christine sat at a small metal table, their eyes glued to a datapadd propped up between them. When neither woman answered him, Leonard stepped behind them. "Not that crap again," he told them, shaking his head in a disappointed way. "Chapel, really." 

For the last two weeks, the crew of the Enterprise had been the subject of some rather pointedly erotic stories involving members of the crew. The identify of the author was the subject of many debates. Many suspected that the author was one of the newer crew members they picked up two months ago at Starbase Delta 7. But others pointed out some smaller minute details of characteristics and locations that only a person with long-term knowledge of the ship would know. 

"The writing's terrible, yes" Christine agreed with him. "But she makes up for it with her... deep _enthusiasm_ about the subject matter."

"And her adjectives," Nyota nodded, eyes skimming the page. "Impressive."

"That too."

Leonard snorted. All of it made him feel uncomfortable. "Well, who's the unlucky victim this morning?" he asked, opening a cabinet and pulling out his container of protein bars.

Nyota and Christine glanced at each other. "Um," Christine began, her face blushing pink. "Well... we are."

Leonard froze, mouth open. "...no," he began, disbelieving. "Us? As in you and me?" 

"Oh yeah," Nyota nodded, her eyes filled with mirth. "This is one of her best, too, Leonard." Reaching over, Nyota punch his arm as Leonard leaned heavily against the counter. "You should be impressed." 

Leonard reached for the padd laying on the table. Quickly reading over the story, Leonard felt his face flush bright red. _No…_

Okay, there might have been a small part of his ego that felt appropriately stroked at being mentioned so _prominently_ and with such prowess, but this involved a co-worker. A friend. "Chapel, I'm sorry, really," he told her, genuinely worried about her feelings. "This isn't right, this sort of gossip. Do you want me to talk to Jim about this? He can get it stopped."

Christine grinned, and Leonard felt himself flushing again. "No, it's all good fun, Leonard." She laughed aloud. "To be honest, I was more upset that I hadn't been in any of them yet."

"Unbelievable."

"C'mon Leonard, you came off looking good." Nyota looked over Christine's shoulder at the padd. "Impressive, even," she added, glancing in the direction of Leonard's crotch and arching an eyebrow. 

"Rude," Leonard snorted, leaving the laughing women behind as he headed back to his patients.

 

"You read this where?" Jim asked, disbelieving. Wiping the sweat off his brow, he leaned back onto the weight bench and lifted the bar high above his head, counting to himself as he dropped the bar to his chest and then raised it up.

"Intraship," Hikaru told him, standing behind Jim, spotting for him. "One of the locked channels. You gotta know the password to get in, but it's worth it." Hikaru waited until Jim finished his reps, then handed him a towel. "It's been going on a few weeks. You really haven't seen it?" he asked, surprised.

"Nope," Jim said, stepping over to the water station, getting a drink. "Pisses me off a little, that no one's told me." Jim took Hikaru's place behind the weight bench, spotting for Hikaru as he began his reps, "So what has been written so far?" he asked curiously.

"A lot," Hikaru answered with a grin. "Men and women, girl on girl, guy on guy. Orgy in the science labs. It's all been pretty funny," Hikaru admitted, "though I could have gone without reading about Mister Scott rubbing up against the nacelles." 

"I'm sorry I asked," Jim laughed, trying to get that image out of his mind. But there was one more thing... "Anything with me?" he tilted his head at Hikaru, curious.

"Sorry, not yet," Hikaru laughed. "But she keeps promising that you're on her list." 

"What about you?" Jim asked as they switched places again.

Hikaru snorted, standing behind Jim. "Oh yeah. It was pretty hot too, something with me and Pavel that involved the botany lab and some alien pollen that made us pretty frisky."

"You're fucking me," Jim said between reps.

"No sir," Sulu replied, "though at this rate, I'm sure we'll be reading about that soon. She's making her way through a lot of crew+ members, but people seem to be enjoying it."

Jim finished that set and sat up on the end of the bench. "What about Bones?" he asked. "Can't believe I haven't heard from him about this."

"McCoy?" Hikaru laughed aloud. "Oh there was a really good one this morning about him and Christine Chapel. He can't be too happy about it."

"Chapel?" Jim sounded shocked. "I didn't think there was anything between the two of them." 

"There isn't," Sulu answered. "It's all make believe. At least, I think it is. That's what she's saying, Ensign Fangirl, the one who writes these. She won't write about real life couples." 

"Ensign Fangirl." Jim made a hmpf sound, shaking his head. "What. Like that's too intrusive? Has anyone complained?" he wondered aloud.

"Not that I know about. Everyone's been featured so positively, no one seems too upset about it all. It's just good sex."

"Bones will be pissed."

"Probably," Hikaru laughed. "Hey speaking of McCoy - I heard a rumor that he's leaving. That true?"

Jim bit his lip, looking down. "I don't know," he said, trying to keep his voice flat and unaffected. "He's been offered a head position at Research Station 14."

"That's a shame," Sulu said. "He's a good doctor. But that's what he's always wanted, right? To get off this tin can?"

Jim looked up, that mask on his face. "That's what he says," he replied coolly. "And it's closer to Earth, I know he wants that. Hope it all works out for him." Looking around the gym, Jim nodded over at the empty basketball half-court. "It's open now. Wanna play?" Jim was happy when Sulu agreed, and for the next hour he was able to push those thoughts - that he might be losing his Bones - out of his head.

* * *

**What Happens on the Bridge Stays on the Bridge**

Spock took two steps forward, his arms reaching out for Jim's broad shoulders. But before Jim could say another word, Spock kissed him, his eyes open as their lips touched. "Jim," he murmured. "I am sorry." _Another kiss_. "My intent was never to anger you. In fact, " Spock's hand slid low on Jim's body, cupping his prominent bulge, "my only wish was to protect you." 

Jim's hips pressed into Spock's hot hand. "Protect me?" he smirked against Spock's hotter mouth. "From what?" 

"From me." Spock's free hand stroked Jim's cheek and Jim could feel electric buzzing between them. "I needed distance. I thought - I _hoped_ I could run from you." 

Jim covered Spock's hand with his own, his hips rubbing against Spock's. "You'd never hurt me." 

"Not intentionally." Jim could hear the quiver in Spock's voice, and began to worry. "But my time has come, to mate, and I do not want to hurt you. Better that I find someplace alone to deal with my demons." 

"Spock," Jim said, reaching for his face. "Mate with me. _It's okay_." 

That must have been what Spock wanted to hear, because the next thing Jim knew he was being pushed onto his captain's chair. Spock settled on his knees between Jim's widely spread legs, and began unzipping Jim's pants. "Captain," Spock breathed on Jim's bobbing erect cock. "You are not wearing underwear," he murmured before taking Jim's shaft into his mouth. 

Jim thanked every god he ever heard of that he'd gone commando that day. Reaching for the tips of Spock's ear, he tugged lightly on one as he began pumping slow into his beloved's mouth and when he came, he cried out his mate's name. 

* * *

"This seat taken?"

Jim glanced up, lips curling into that familiar smirk at the sight of his best friend. "You look like someone I knew once. Leonard McCoy, a doctor I think," he drawled, pointing to the empty seat next to him at his table in the galley.

"Very funny, Jim." Leonard sat down with a little exhale, not wasting too much time before tearing into his sandwich. 

"Haven't seen much of you lately." Jim told him, so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed his soup had gone cold. Yeah, maybe he'd been a little worried, especially after that story came out about him and Spock. At first, Jim had been sure that Bones would stop by and tease him mercilessly, like most of his crew had done - all in good fun, of course. 

But that hadn't happened. In fact, this was the first time in a couple days that he and Bones had spent any time together talking. "Everything okay?" Jim asked, trying to sound casual. Like he hadn't been worried. Nope. 

Leonard seemed impervious to any of Jim's concern, which was probably for the best. "Inventory," he said thickly, his mouth filled with food. "Been trying to get that wreck of a storeroom in order. We got boxes and boxes from that shuttle last week, I still don't know what's inside. Damn yeoman just tossed things in all willy-nilly and I…" Leonard took another bite and sighed. "How are you doing?" he asked, giving Jim a quick once over. "Everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, good. Long ass video conference this morning with Frank Abbott over on the _Bradbury_. I think we're gonna be heading into the Dreon system next. Some real deep space missions… I guess you're gonna miss all that if you leave us." Jim hesitated, then plunged ahead. "So what's the news about that?" he asked, trying to sound cheerful and optimistic. 

Like the good friend he should be. Needed to be. 

"I dunno," Leonard admitted. "Sounds like a great offer. Chief of the research facility, choice of immediate subordinates. Directed research into the comparative physiology of the cortex and cortical development, or some nonsense like that," Leonard shook his head, as if not wanting to make too much of it. 

"Sounds like it was tailor made for you." It really did. Jim understood just enough of Leonard's medical background to know that while his friend was a hell of a surgeon, his passion was in brain research. Jim's heart beat loud in his chest, so loud he was sure everyone in the room could hear it. "You taking it?" 

"I don't know. I mean, it sounds good, but…"

"But what?"

"What I'm doing here, that's good work too. Gotten attached to you and this lady of yours." Leonard's mouth opened, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. Jim watched that small movement, mesmerized. "I don't know… what do you think, Jim, 'bout all of this?"

 _I want you to stay with me._ Selfish thoughts. "I think... you need to do what is best for you," Jim answered slowly, avoiding Leonard's eyes. "Bones - you need to do whatever makes you happiest. I know you don't like it here-"

Leonard's back straightened slightly. "Never said that."

"- and you know I'll sign off on whatever you decide. I'd never keep you here if you had the opportunity to go somewhere better." A long moment passed with neither man speaking. 

Finally Leonard broke the silence. "It's a good offer."

And that's all Jim had to hear. 

He'd missed his chance.

  


* * *

  


**Pet**

"How do you feel?" 

Carol's voice quivered as she answered. "I feel good, Mistress." She wasn't cold, even though she had no clothing. Nyota's rooms were always on the warm side so being naked wasn't an impediment to her comfort. Her hands were bound behind her back, and being blindfolded meant that her balance was off. 

But she wasn't uncomfortable. 

Not until a hot mouth enveloped one hard nipple. She exhaled, her back arching at the feeling. Her nerves were on fire, and as Nyota's warm breath moved from one nipple to the next, all Carol could do was groan quietly. 

"And this?" she asked, biting slowing on her nipple. 

Carol shook, but managed to remain on her feet. "Better." 

"Good," Nyota murmured. "So sensitive..." Then a long finger slid between Carol's legs, separating the folds of her labia. Carol lost her footing and fell forward when Nyota touched her. But she knew Nyota would catch her, as she did, and laying across her lap, she felt those gentle fingers probing deep inside her. 

Every once in awhile Nyota made a small noise, as if discovering a new part of Carol and she knew Nyota was pleased with her, and how far she'd come in her training. 

  


* * *

  


_We're hoping that you'll join us soon. I speak for the other researchers when I say that your past work on the cerebral cortex has many of us very excited for what the future holds._

Leonard read the message again, not sure how to respond, so in the end he didn't. Maybe later it would come easier. Right now, his mind was too clouded with thoughts and worries. Options to weigh and possibilities to consider. 

Yeah right. Truth be told, Leonard's thoughts were muddled by the story he'd read the previous morning, the one with Jim. 

Not because it was Jim and Spock, not really. Leonard understood their friendship for what it was, and he knew that Spock was devoted to Nyota in his own understated way. But when he reread the story, it was him he pictured kneeling in front of Jim, _his_ mouth being fucked by Jim. 

Him being Jim's _beloved_.

Fuck, that sounded pathetic. 

 

"You still here?" Chapel leaned against the door frame, staring down at Leonard, still sitting behind his desk. "I thought you left for the day. I sent Chief Rizzo back to his quarters with some instructions to return if the rash gets worse. Hope that was okay, Leonard."

"Fine, sounds fine." Leonard shut down his computer terminal and sighed. "Didn't know how late it was."

Christine didn't move. "Are you okay?" she asked, trying to catch his eyes. 

"Of course," Leonard scoffed, standing. "Why did you ask that?" he said, playing stupid but he knew what her answer would be. Damned nosy nurse of his.

"You just look a little distracted." A diplomatic answer. Then she dropped the hammer. "Did you read the one about the captain?"

"Nope," Leonard lied, walking toward her. "I don't need that sort of image of those two while I'm sitting across from him- I mean, _them_ in the officers morning briefings." Christine narrowed her eyes. "Truth be told, I was thinking about the transfer."

"Leonard, you are a terrible liar." 

"Chapel, I-"

"Are you really going to just leave and not tell him?"

Leonard stared at her for what felt like an hour. "Tell him what?" he asked baldly, staring at her, daring her to say the words. 

But she didn't. Shaking her head, Christine looked disappointed but didn't stop him from walking past her as he grabbed his medical kit and headed back to his quarters for the night.

  


* * *

  


gentle readers, since i have begun this endeavor, there has been one question that has spammed my inbox more than any other: why don't you write captain kirk and doctor mccoy together? whilst i agree that they are indeed extremely handsome specimens, it has been my rule to not write about encounters of real life couples, which i assumed they were. i have been assured by several parties that they are not presently engaging in these activities (which is a damn shame, it must be said) so here you are, my patient lovelies. the long awaited kirk and mccoy. 

**Pitch Black**

Leonard McCoy closed his padd. Enough work had been done that day, and fatigue began to settle in his bones. Standing, he stretched, the hem of his shirt riding up, exposing that long line of hair on his torso. Just as he took a step toward his bedroom, all the lights in his room went dark. 

Pitch black. "Computer," he muttered tiredly. "Computer, lights please." 

But no response. "Computer," he repeated. "Lights, dammit!" From where he stood, he could see the blinking lights coming from the chronometer in his bedroom, but here, in his small living quarters, it was dark. 

Suddenly he heard the hiss from his door sliding open. Leonard blinked as the light from the corridor blinded him, but not before he spotted a familiar silhouette in the doorway, just briefly, before the door slid closed again. "What's going on?" he asked. "Jim, is that you?" 

No sound, nothing… and then there was a body behind him, strong arms wrapped tight around his torso. McCoy's first instinct was to fight, but yet… those arms were so familiar. "Jim?" he asked again. 

"Is this what you want?" the voice in the dark said, not a whisper, not really. Fingers slid under Leonard's tunic, touching heated bare skin, tweaking a pert nipple. 

"Yes," McCoy ground out as something hard and massive rubbed against his ass. "I want all of it." He wanted to feel this touch, wanted that warm breath against the back of his neck, soft lips brushing his skin. 

He wanted this to be Jim. "Need you." 

"You can have me." The last words spoken as those arms let go, and Leonard turned to face his unknown lover. The other man licked at the corners of Leonard's mouth, and he parted his lips for a searing kiss, their tongues sliding slickly against each other. Those hands were tugging at his pants, and Leonard groaned, pushing the other man down just as his pants were tugged down to his knees. 

It was like a fantasy come to life. "...Jim" Leonard murmured, exhaling loud as his underwear was slowly peeled down his thighs. Leonard's cock bobbed in front of him in the dark, the cool air chilling him for the briefest of moments before- "Fuck," he cried out as a warm mouth engulfed him, taking his cock down to the root. One of Leonard's hands grabbed the man's shoulder, the other firmly holding that head in place. Glorious, the wet heat, the way Leonard felt his cock hitting the back of that throat. Hands gripped Leonard's hips and fingers began spreading his ass cheeks and Leonard growled loudly as his own fingers held tight to those soft strands of hair. He fucked that sinful mouth harder than he should have, rolling his head back and muttering the filthiest endearments he knew. When he came, it was long and loud, exploding out of him in pulses, his essence swallowed by the amazing man kneeling in front of him. 

And then - he was gone. The door slid opened and shut faster that Leonard could follow. 

McCoy just stood there, spent cock in his hand, not sure what the fuck just happened, other than the most earth-shattering blow job he'd ever had. 

Slowly the lights came back on. McCoy blinked as his hazel eyes adjusted to the dim light. Tucking himself back into his pants, he exhaled. "That was unexpected." And amazing and terrific and everything he never knew he wanted. 

Fantasy come true. 

But was it over? McCoy hoped not, but - how would he look Kirk in the eye now, always wondering… 

Was it really him? 

Maybe he'd think about it tomorrow. McCoy was on his way to bed when he spotted something strange on his sofa. Picking it up, McCoy held up the gold fabric of the tunic, brought it to the cloth to his nose. _Jim._

His communicator went off. McCoy jogged to the table where he'd placed it earlier. "McCoy here." 

"Bones." 

McCoy straightened at the sound of his name. "Yes, Captain?" 

"I can't find my uniform shirt. Any chance you know where it's at?" 

McCoy clutched tightly to the gold fabric. "I mighta seen it. Want me to bring it to you?" 

"If you could, I'd appreciate it." Then the comm line went dead. 

McCoy finished zipping his pants. "As you wish, Jim," he murmured to himself. Flinging the tunic over his shoulder, McCoy reached for a bottle of Saurian brandy that he'd recently received as a birthday gift from Commander Spock, he headed out toward Kirk's quarters. 

He headed toward his destiny. 

The End

* * *

The next morning, Senior Officer daily staff briefing wasn't uncomfortable, not exactly. Jim sat where he always sat and listened to Spock's reports regarding the ship, anything unusual that happened the previous day. Nyota described some strange communications her team was tracking. Scotty would be running some checks on the warp drive engines, so he kindly asked the captain to please not be needing to go above warp two, thank ye very much. 

Leonard had nothing to report from Medical.

Not uncomfortable, but it was clear from the beginning that everyone in the room had read the latest story. "Unless anyone has anything else, that will be all." Jim nodded as each of his department heads stood and left, a little surprised that Leonard remained seated. "You okay?"

"No." Leonard clasped his hands in front of him, exhaling slowly. "I mean, yeah, I'm okay. None of that stuff bothered me."

"Bullshit." Jim could see plain as day that Bones hadn't liked any of that. Why would he? The man was so private about his feelings and relationships. 

Not to mention, the idea of the two of them together… Jim's first thought when he read it was that someone _knew_ , someone out there on his ship had figured out Jim's crush, how much Jim wanted Leonard McCoy. Worst kept secret on board, he knew that now. 

Now Leonard McCoy knew that too. "It's okay, Jim. It's nothing."

"Yeah." In the end, Bones was right. It was nothing. Everything that Jim felt, that was nothing too. Best kept inside, locked away. "Well, at least you won't have any problems like this at the research station, right? That's something." Leonard dropped his eyes at the mention of his transfer, and that's when Jim knew Leonard had decided to take the job. "I'm gonna miss you, Bones, you know that? But it's the right move for you." 

Then Leonard looked up, his eyes dark and pained, and Jim didn't know what to make of that. "...Jim-" but right at that moment, his communicator went off. 

"Sickbay to Doctor McCoy, we've had an emergency."

"I'm on my way." Leonard paused at the door before he left, but he didn't say anything.before he darted out the door. 

"Bye, Bones," Jim murmured, settling back into his chair. 

Then it hit him. An idea. The idea. 

One last shot.

 

 

Leonard didn't make it back to his quarters until late that night, not wanting to leave until he was certain Ensign Favino would survive the plasma burns. Grunting as he walked into his bedroom, Leonard pulled off his surgical tunic and dropped it onto the floor. Right now, all he wanted was two fingers of bourbon and some sleep.

He laughed. The story had gotten that little detail right. Leonard didn't guess that Spock's birthday gift to him, that bottle of Saurian brandy, was a huge secret. Or his feelings for his captain either, judging from how people were staring at him all day.

The fact that no one mentioned it to him spoke volumes. No one laughed or teased him, poked fun at his 'impressive' body parts or any of that good-natured ribbing that happened before. No, this time everyone sort of gave him his space, as if they didn't want his fragile ego to break into a million pieces.

No, everyone knew the truth. That Leonard loved his captain.

Everyone but Jim.

 

All of a sudden the lights went off. Leonard stopped, turning his head. "Computer, lights." 

But nothing. "Very funny," he grumped, reaching out his hands. "Some sort of joke? Just like the story, right? Scotty, is this you?" he asked aloud, but nothing, no one. 

Pitch black. 

A few moments passed in the dark. Leonard waited for the lights to come on, whoever was pranking him to get their laughs, but nothing. 

All of a sudden - the hiss of the door sliding open and closed. "Who's there?" he asked, turning but seeing no one. "Who is this?"

Someone was at his back. Leonard didn't want to ask, couldn't ask. _Jim?_

Then a soft voice. "Is this what you want?" Hands snaked around Leonard's waist, tentatively at first, then tighter when it appeared that Leonard was not stopping him. Large hands, Leonard felt them stroking his side, one of them darting under his shirt and he groaned softly, because fuck if this didn't feel good. "What're you doing?"

"Shoulda done this years ago..."

But it was wrong. "No." Leonard caught the hands with his own. "Stop."

He could almost hear the gasp behind him, an inhalation, and he held tight to the hands just as they tried to pull away. "I don't want a fumble in the dark with you," he began. "Not like this. I want to see your face when you tell me how you feel about me, see if you blush or not when you hear me tell you how I feel about you." 

The body behind him hadn't moved, so Leonard kept talking, the darkness making it easier. "Fucking wish I could've said all this to you without that stupid story, but I didn't know how, and I wasn't sure… aw hell, Jim," he shook his head. "You know how I feel about you, you gotta know. Everyone on this ships knows. I want to tell my daughter how much I need you." Their fingers laced together. "I want to grow old with you, Jim. I want us old and cantankerous and finishing each others stories and arguing over all the little things." 

All he heard was the breathing of the man behind him. Leonard turned, his own arms sliding around the other man's waist. "I-" he began but the softest lips stopped his words and they kissed, sweet and slow and Leonard fisted the fabric as it deepened into the tenderest moment Leonard had ever know. 

Then it was over. Leonard felt the man pull back, take Leonard's fingers and kiss them before heading to the door. As before, it opened and shut quickly, the light from the corridor blinding Leonard before he could see anything but the briefest outline of a man.

And then he was gone. 

As in the story, the lights in Leonard's quarters came back slowly, and against his will he turned his head toward the small sofa - but no tunic. 

Of course. Leonard shook his head as he headed toward his bed, not sure what he expected. Were he and Jim back at square one? How was he supposed to approach him now?

Fuck, that might not even have been Jim. Head spinning, Leonard was about to take off his clothes and slide into his shower when he heard his communicator go off.

It was a text message. 

_Bones, there's been a development regarding your transfer to the research station. We might need to talk about it, if you don't mind coming over to my room. My mom sent some chocolate candies on the shuttle last week, I might be willing to share if you ask nicely. ~ JTK_

"Development my ass," Leonard muttered to himself, but he couldn't help the smile on his face, his mood lightening and all the fatigue suddenly replaced with a tingling in his stomach. _Jim._ But now - now Leonard needed to put his money where his mouth was. Could he do it? Could he talk to Jim about this, about them? Take Jim's hand, stroke Jim's cheek, look the man in the eye and say what he felt, without the safety of a darkened room, of anonymity?

Could he do it?

Reaching for the Saurian brandy, Leonard tucked it under his arm as he glanced at himself once in the mirror. He fixed his hair, still smiling, suddenly so happy - and he headed out toward Jim's rooms. 

Toward his destiny?

No, that didn't sound like them.

But toward each other, and that's what really mattered.


End file.
